Bruttokansantuote

 “Bruttokansantuote” she cried, the Finnish word for GDP. She was tired, so tired. She was in her late fifties, born on the Day of Minna Canth, a Finnish writer and social activist addressing issues of women's rights in her work.

She had noticed her niceness deteriorating. She had started to add more often lipstick during her office days, something that had always been indicating her frustration: an arrogant client - lipstick, an idea despising male superior - lipstick, an uncivilized discussion - lipstick, and so on.

Now the lipstick wasn’t working anymore - her heels were clacking louder than was needed and her eyes behind the reading glasses were sending glances of disapproval. Where had the niceness gone?

The CEO didn't remember the Finnish word for the gross domestic product, and instead of saying this politely and rather shyly she cried the word so loud that everybody in the room turned her way and silence that took place  lasted a minute or more.

Most of her colleagues saw her now for the first time. And then, something happened that is actually the reason why I am telling you the story.

After the silence of one minute or more, she stood up, collected her key card, reading classes, mobile phone and her computer. And when the CEO continued the presentation our woman walked away. Everybody in the room had already forgotten her.

She left her key card, computer and the mobile phone on the desk. She packed her reading glasses in her bag. In the bag she had a parachute. Wearing the parachute she walked to the closest window. And she jumped. The highest highrise in Helsinki is around 130 meters. The story doesn’t tell if she jumped from the top floor of that building. 

The Goblins and the Sunshines of this world

“Brilliant, I knew I would make a beautiful deal!” Cried King Swampy. He had just finished his daily hobby horse exercise, he was the best hobby horse rider, nobody was better than him and everybody just loved him. Carrying his favourite hobby horse King Swampy turned around and ran wobbling toward his castle.

Inside his beautiful castle, the biggest castle in the whole wide world, King Swampy first rushed to the kitchen to enjoy a Swampy-burger and a low fat, no sugar, healthy, power- and light-cola-drink. He cleaned his palms by rubbing them in the hem of his royal cape, left the kitchen and went after his magic stick. 

In his telephone room King Swampy called his friend, another truly loved emperor, Char Poopje. Swampy and Poopje made a video call to each other every four years.

“Congrats for another eternity in power!” Char Poopje's smiling face appeared in the huge screen. All King Swampy’s ten or so children had just announced that none of them had any interest in leading the monarchy and the King’s very own spiritual leader had told him that he would live forever. 

“Thank you, my dearest Char! I assume you have it cozy in your underground palace with your body covered with the wax of immortality?”

“Oh yes, indeed, hurrah!”The Char answered with a waxed smile on his face.

King Swampy took a nice pose with the help of his custom made corset, lifted his hand and said dramatically pointing the magic stick toward the Char:

“I hereby offer the most beautiful, wonderful and the best ever made peace deal in the universe. I will send one hobby horse not only to you but to all our fellow rulers and you will all forget your bad thoughts, guns and plans and start to rebuild the world and human rights, the environment and all that is atm in quite a bad condition.”

Char Poopje kept on smiling. he was actually already asleep, but due to the thick wax, he could not close his eyes. And when the King noticed his friend was sleeping, he continued:

“And I will have my Middle East beach resort and my Arctic Atlantic ocean highway for my super trouper cruises!”

King Swampy had had his moment of governing for a while. He had not meant any of that twaddle, he would never spoil his wonderful life by doing something meaningful. Swampy took off his corset, put on his eighties spandex and started to dance. His dance studio had huge windows facing his kingsize hobby horse racetrack. It was the fastest hobby horse racetrack. Everybody loved his riding. And he danced like a king.

I wake up and it was all just a dream. 

Seven years until my retirement age 

(and counting).